It’s Sunday morning in the Perkins household. My wife, Natalie, is fast asleep still after having a nightmare (should I be sharing that? Oh well) and I’m pondering the future of my website. As you might remember, I moved my blog to http://www.nicholasperkins.com/blog/ a few week ago, and there was a reason for this.

Recently I’ve been working with Drupal a lot. I worked on getting Natalie’s new portfolio site up and looking awesome (if I do say so myself). Drupal is not really a CMS, although it can be used as one. Drupal is more of  framework that gives web developers the tools to create very complex sites without having to hand code thousands of lines of PHP.

In the case of Natalie’s site, I still needed to hack into some of the modules code, wrote a few lines of customer PHP database lookups to create the dynamic sub-menu and a few other bits and bobs. What I didn’t need to do is create an entire CMS from scratch. When I wanted to have a new content type for her portfolio images, I didn’t need to design the database structure and code the posting and editing and whatever else functions. Drupal just made it happen.

So I’m now considering moving my blog across to Drupal as part of a larger site redesign. I’m currently looking at creating a main website for my Excel and PHP development business, which is why I moved the blog. It will be a few months before I have the design and content ready to go up though, but that gives me plenty of time to get Drupal into shape.

What I am wondering is whether I should transfer my blog into Drupal and away from Wordpress.

Wordpress is probably the best blogging software I have ever used. The interface is clean and easy to use, the plugin and themes are so easy to install, configure and “just work”. When I helped Natalie with http://www.axisoffat.com/ (it’s on Drupal as well) I wondered if it was really the best option. It did work out in the end but it required more fluffing around to get it to work just the way we wanted it to.

I’d be interested in your thoughts on both Drupal and Wordpress, but also any other CMS/Framework solutions you have used. The decision on what I use for my own site is critical. Whatever I choose I will have to work closely with and become and expert at using and modifying as required so that I can offer similar services to my clients.

Ben Grubb over at It News has reported that Exetel is planning on banning P2P use (that is Bittorrent, Limewire, Kazaa (does that even exist still?), etc) during their off-peak period. I’m not surprised that John Linton, the founder and CEO of Exetel is considering such drastic measures, however I was concerned for my ability to download Linux ISOs at night. (Yes, all P2P is Linux ISOs — didn’t you know?)

At the beginning of this month, our off-peak time was trimmed from 12am-12pm to 2am-12pm. This was to stop a phenomenon that would basically kill the entire Exetel network at midnight. People just have to have that latest Linux ISO at 12:01am so start all of their downloads at the very start of off-peak. No worries, except people who wanted to browse web pages, use VOIP or do anything else suffered.

As John has mentioned many times over on his blog, most downloads would be finished by 12:30am or 1am and the network would be back to normal speeds. Despite years of trying to fix it, nothing worked.

This was a great cost to Exetel, who would continue to try different ways to combat this, including a P2P cache, asking for downloaders to be fair and push back their downloads and purchasing a ton of bandwidth they didn’t need except for that half hour. Seems this new tactic worked. So since most souls are in bed by 2am, they bit the bullet and moved off-peak back.

So what about the threat of banning all P2P during off-peak? Well this would only be after November, and only after they move back to a 12am-12pm off-peak period. And only if you choose that period over 1am-1pm or 2am-2pm. And it’s only banned during the first two hours. And it’s self-regulated.

A whole lot of ands really.

So I can have 60Gb of downloads over half of the month, and I either avoid P2P for two hours (which I was doing anyway voluntarily after a request another previous post from John) or move my off-peak to 2am-2pm, which since we are late risers would help us out anyway. Woah, I better get the tin foil hat out.

I still find Exetel to be extraordinary value. They usually have good service, and if it is bad they will be upfront and admit their issue. They aren’t for the faint hearted, as you have to know your stuff well and live with a support culture expecting you to find your own help in the forums, but if you can live with that you will get more from them than your regular ISP.

Free SMS from the web, they do email to fax and fax to email ($1 a month – wtf?), and more. I love them. I really do.

I read a blog post today by Undomestic Diva titled “Quality vs Quantity in the bedroom“. If you haven’t read it yet, then I’m not going to spoil the fun. Go and have a read (men especially) and then come back and continue from here.

You’re back? Ok, let’s get into it then.

Undomestic Diva’s post got me thinking about sex and why men feel they have to be “marathon men” and last for hours and hours. Why is this so important to men and why is it that there is this (seeming) misconception that women are thinking the same way? I think there are a number of reasons this has happened.

Let’s start with peer pressure. Is there some sort of masculine bragging right from being able to go the distance with a girl? Probably. A man wants to look like a stud to his mates. For some, that might be the number of ‘notches on the bed head’. For others, it is bragging about going at it for hours with the hot (or no so hot) chick.

A lot of the stories are probably exaggerated. It’s like the old fishing story about the one that got away, except this time it’s about the hours and hours of hot lovemaking. It probably was all over in five minutes, or thirty minutes. Multiply that by five and you’ve now got a ripping yarn to share with the mates.

So what do we mean by sex? Some women say they want longer and more satisfying sex. Do they mean thrusting in an out intercourse? Possibly. But they probably also want more intimacy. They probably want more attention from their man when they aren’t in bed (or about to be). They probably want a cuddle and a massage occasionally.

That doesn’t mean there should be a massage and cuddle session and kissing and foreplay and then some oral and then some massage and then perhaps some intercourse that goes for hours and hours. Sometimes that will be appropriate. Sometimes a “Wham, bam and thank you ma’am and sir!” is what you both need. Mixing things up is important, but make sure your man knows this.

If you have had intimacy issues in the past and you’ve gotten him to be more attentive, perhaps he thinks it ALWAYS has to be like this. It’s possible in the past he has had a similar situation with another relationship. All women and men are different, so he’s doing what he thinks is right from previous experience, when you really just want it done well and done now.

Then there are the premature ejaculation ads on TV, and this stuff is even mentioned in school. It’s a serious medical problem for some men, but there needs to be a clearer definition so that most men can get on with their life. To me, if you can’t have intercourse because a) it’s done before you even get inside or b) you get inside and that sets you off, then you might have an issue that needs some medical attention. Doctors can do wonders to help you.

The rest of you who are having sex but it just isn’t a long as you want it, you might just have to deal with it. Perhaps when your partner says, “It’s ok you know, I really enjoyed it” they mean it. If they don’t, they aren’t the right partner for you anyway.

Briefly, I’ll touch on porn. Male porn stars seem to last forever (or at least the length of a DVD). Do you think Peter Jackson filmed “The Lord of the Rings” in one take? I doubt it very much. They would not have filmed “The Lord of the Ring” in one take either. (If it’s a real porn title, shoot me. I made it up.) I’m lead to believe they also use numbing agents to allow them to last forever. Sorry, but I want to enjoy sex.

Finally, I think communication is very important. Men need to learn to trust what their partner is saying. If she says she wants it quick, she wants it quick. If she says she wants some more of this or that, then that is what she wants. Don’t second guess her and think “she’s just saying that to make me feel better.” I still make that mistake sometimes, but I’m human and learning.

If she is just saying it to make you feel better, the only person missing out is her. 99.9% of the time (yes, more made up statistics) they are telling you the way it is. “Hey, let’s skip this stuff and get down and dirty” should be music to your ears, not a “oh rod, she’s just trying to make me feel better cause I suck” moment.

So men, listen to your woman. Ask her what she wants you to do. If she wants it quick and fast, give her to her. Enjoy the freedom of not having to worry about lasting for ages longer than we were probably designed for. When she wants more than that, give that to her too. Listen, communicate and understand what she wants from you.

Women, talk to your man. Tell them what you really want. Be up front all the time, so they’ll believe you in the bedroom as well as outside. If they don’t understand, show them. They’ll get it eventually.

Perhaps you need to find some way to let him know what you want this time around. It’s ok to say that you shouldn’t have to tell him — he should just know. It’s easier to just tell him, and then enjoy the fruits of your labour, so to speak.

This Friday night at KiLN Gallery is the opening of their latest exhibition called The Illustrators. The exhibition features work from some of Australia’s premier illustrators, including Nigel Buchanan (image above), Jim Tsinganos, Brett Lethbridge, Ron Monnier, Courtney Brims, Shaun Campbell, Lucia Masciullo and Natalie Perkins. (Psst. Did I mention I’m married to one of them? See if you can guess who!)

The event starts at 5pm and goes through to around 8pm, so it’s perfect to drop in on the way home from work. KiLN is located in Paddington (see map below) in one of the old Brisbane Tram substations, and it is a beautiful place with a lovely exhibition space. It isn’t huge and daunting like some galleries can be, but very inviting. The curators (is that the correct term? I’m not the artist in this family!) do a wonderful job to make you feel welcome.

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Rather than take my word for it, why don’t you check out this post at definatalie.com (my wife’s blog) where you can get further (and much more informed) information on the exhibition and some examples of the work you will see on the night.

I hope to see some of you there. Come up and introduce yourself if you do come and you don’t know me personally already.

My mum has been working hard over the last three years to organise a community garden in her local community. The official opening was today and Natalie and I went down to check it out. Natalie has even put together a video of our trip (and also a review of some new pens she recently bought). You can check out her other videos on YouTube as well.

It’s a space to allow people who don’t have the space, or who enjoy community company, to get together and grow their own veggies. There are around 40 plots of 3 meters x 3 meters which is plenty of space to grow enough veggies for yourself and to have some left to spare. There are even raised beds for the physically disabled to allow them to enjoy the fun in the sun.

I’m very proud of my mum and what she has achieved. She even had the audacity to ask for more money for more beds (as seen in the video). My mum is awesome. They estimated that over 300 people attended this afternoon’s opening. That’s amazing to be honest. Maybe it was due to her becoming a media tart in the last few days.

Lets hope we can get some stuff like this in our local area soon. I’d love a garden bed to get into a grow some veggies of our own!